Mainlander who came to trophy-hunt Guernsey cow shot by farmer

Out-of-islander, Tim Smith, was killed today on a St Saviours farm.

The 36-year-old Trust Manager from London had walked on to the land of Mr Warren De Garis, a local farmer.

Intent on claiming the head of what he perceived as a rare foreign species, the humble Guernsey cow, Mr Smith proceeded across the fields armed with a rifle.

Mr De Garis followed, having spied the interloper from afar.

“I know when there’s a blade of hay amiss on my land, let alone some poncey, green Englishman with a brand new pair of walking boots,” Mr De Garis later explained.

Mr De Garis employed the legally required two-part security check before firing the weapon.

“First I yelled ‘you’re on my land’, and he didn’t say nothing, so I declared ‘he isn’t even from round here’ before shooting, such is my right.”

Tim Smith’s family have now been informed.